


Something in Your Magnetism

by Elorianna



Series: Never-Ending Spirals [2]
Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets, Milex - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Feels, EYCTE nostalgia, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Memories, Sexual Content, blond Miles, canonesque
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:00:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21873484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elorianna/pseuds/Elorianna
Summary: On a night close to Christmas, Miles invites Alex for some innocent fun at the fairground in Hyde Park. But what begins as a trip down memory lane turns into nostalgia of a very different sort, and in the end Miles is faced with a difficult choice…
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Series: Never-Ending Spirals [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571212
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55





	Something in Your Magnetism

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a follow-up to Illuminations on a Rainy Day :)
> 
> Update 24/01/20: This story is now also [available in Spanish](https://www.wattpad.com/818777342-something-in-your-magnetism-traducida-milex-one/page/9) \- many thanks to the translator :)

**_– London, December 2019 –_ **

Miles rapped on the door for a second time, then rubbed his hands together and blew on his fingers. The tips of his ears were starting to go numb and his breath was making mist in the air. He lifted the letterbox and called through it.

“Come on, Al, open up. It’s bloody freezin’ out here.”

There was a thump and a scuffle from the other side of the door, and then at last it swung inwards and a warm cloud blew into Miles’s face. Alex stood blinking in the doorway. His hair was fluffy and dishevelled and he was dressed only in his white vest and trackies.

Miles looked him up and down. “You aren’t even ready yet, are yeh?”

“I thought you said we weren’t going out till seven?”

“Yeah, and it’s half past already.”

Alex looked at his wrist, but he wasn’t wearing a watch. “Oh,” he said. “Shit. Sorry, must’ve got distracted.” He looked back at Miles and his forehead creased in a frown.

“Are yeh gonna let me in or what?” Miles said.

“Right, right, sorry.” Alex retreated and Miles followed him into the warm house. They made their way down the hall and Alex ushered him through the door that led on to the living room.

Miles felt his eyebrows lift as he entered the room. He looked around with a smile. The main lights were dimmed and the room was lit only by the large Christmas tree which stood in the corner. Its twinkling lights cycled from blue, to green, to pink and then back again, casting pretty patterns on the wall. There were a dozen presents stacked in a neat pile beneath the tree already, each one wrapped with gold and silver paper and decorated with a coloured bow.

Miles’s smile broadened to a grin. “Wow. Proper cosy in here, innit?”

“Yeah, I thought I’d make a bit of an effort this year.”

“Looks really nice.” Miles turned round to find Alex watching him. “What’s the matter?”

Alex shook his head. “Nowt’s the matter. It’s just… your hair’s different again.”

Miles brushed his fingertips through the shorn sides of his new haircut. “You don’t like it?”

“No, no, I like it. It looks good.”

Alex spoke without really looking at him, his gaze cast downwards to the floor. He scraped a hand back through his own hair, which had started to grow longer again. It suited him best that way, Miles thought.

“I’m just gonna go get dressed,” Alex said. “You okay to wait a bit?”

“Yeah, course.”

Alex nodded and disappeared out the door.

Miles stared after him for a brief moment, then turned to the mirror which hung on the wall above the mantelpiece. He ran his fingers through his new haircut again, carefully mussing the blond strands until they were fashionably tousled, neither too neat nor too messy. It looked alright. Or at least, he thought it did.

He turned back to the Christmas tree. He knelt down to examine the presents, turning the labels over one by one. There were gifts for Alex’s mum, and his dad, and one each for Matt, Jamie and Nick, as well as a few addressed to mutual friends. There was no present under the tree addressed to him.

He heard Alex bouncing back down the stairs and straightened up. “That was quick.”

Alex stepped into the room wearing his jeans, leather jacket, woolly scarf and hat. He thrust a black beanie into Miles’s hands. “Here, wear this. You know your ears always get cold.”

Miles smiled, turned again to face the mirror and put the hat on carefully so as not to mess up his hair. He saw Alex watching him in the reflection. “Ready to go?”

Alex smiled back at him. “Yeah, let’s go.”

* * *

They opted for a taxi ride rather than the tube, and fifteen minutes later they were strolling through the gates of Hyde Park in the midst of an excited crowd. The air was full of the smell of toffee apples and candyfloss, and the lights of the fair glimmered up ahead through the trees.

Miles turned to watch the skaters as he and Alex passed the ice rink. The people on the ice were bundled up in coats and gloves, circling in couples or groups of three, all of them red-cheeked and laughing.

Alex gave him a nudge. “You want to go skating?”

Miles shook his head. “Nah, you know what I want.” He turned back to Alex and grinned.

Alex snorted, then stepped closer and linked their arms. “Come on then, ya big kid.”

Miles laughed and allowed Alex to drag him further into the park, weaving them both in and out of the crowds of people and between the market stalls packed with novelty gifts and Christmas decorations. This was the best thing about visiting the Winter Wonderland at peak time in the evening. The crowds were so dense that he and Alex could melt right into them and become anonymous. Alex’s face was half buried in his scarf and his hat was pulled down low over his eyebrows, but Miles could see the hidden smile in his brown eyes. He knew Alex was enjoying the feeling of hiding in plain sight.

The sound of music grew louder and as the path curved in front of them, the fairground came into view. Miles grinned. This was his favourite place in the park. Other people came for the ice skating, the showy rides and the rollercoasters, or for the shopping and the food, but for Miles it was always about the traditional fair with its vintage rides and games. Riding the waltzers, the Ferris wheel and the helter skelter made him feel like a kid again, and winning a prize on the shooting games or the coconut shy still gave him the same kind of thrill as it had way back in the day, back before he’d even dreamt of the kind of life he had now.

He turned to find Alex smiling at him. “Let me guess,” Alex said. “The rifle range?”

“You know me so well.”

Alex chuckled. “I like to think so.”

“Come on, then.”

Miles had already spotted the game on the far side of the carousel. He pulled Alex through the crowd, forging a path between the ring toss and the hook-a-duck stands and the stalls selling hotdogs and popcorn. He greeted the game operator with a nod.

“Alright mate? Two guns, please – one for me an’ one for ‘im.” He elbowed Alex in the ribs. “Let’s see how badly I can beat you this time, eh?”

Alex scoffed. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Bet on it?”

“You’re going down, Kane.”

Miles threw back his head and laughed. The game operator gave them a bemused look and moved aside as they each picked up a gun. They stood shoulder to shoulder to take aim at the targets lined up across the back wall.

Miles was the first to knock one down. He let out a whoop of triumph. Alex just shook his head. He fired off a round, missed, fired another, missed again.

“Summat wrong with this gun,” he said.

“Try mine if yeh want.”

Alex shrugged and they swapped over. Miles proceeded to hit the targets twice in a row with Alex’s gun, but Alex’s shot went wide again. Alex made a face.

“Come ‘ere,” Miles said. “You’re not lining it up right.” He laid his gun down, came up behind Alex and laid both hands on his shoulders to adjust his posture. “Stand like this, and put yer arm like this. That’s better. Now try.”

Alex fired another shot. This one went so far off to the side that it didn’t even hit the target wall.

“Oi,” the game operator said. “Watch it, yeah? You nearly had my eye out.”

Alex’s face reddened and he muttered an apology.

“Did you eat anythin’ before we came out?” Miles said. “Yer hands are all shaky.”

“M’fine. Just out of practice.”

“Here, then.” Miles leaned against Alex’s back and curled his hands around Alex’s own to steady him. “Go on, try again.”

“You don’t have to–”

“S’fine, go on.” Miles rested his chin over Alex’s shoulder. Alex’s face was radiating warmth in the cold air. Miles felt him inhale a deep breath.

“Miles,” Alex said. “Maybe we should just play a different game.”

“Nah, we can do this, come on.”

Alex took another deep breath. “Alright, then.”

He squeezed the trigger. This time the shot ricocheted off the metal target with a loud ping and knocked it flat.

“There yeh go, what’d I tell yeh?” Miles grinned, gave Alex a squeeze and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Yeah, alright, alright,” Alex said. His face was glowing like a beacon as the game operator handed over his prize. “Come on, I’ve had enough of this. Let’s go ride the Ferris wheel.”

“Can’t we do the waltzers first?”

“No fuckin’ chance, I’m not gettin’ on that thing wi’ you again.”

Miles threw an arm around Alex’s waist. “Oh, come on, that was one time. And in my defence, I was hammered and I’d had three rides in a row.”

“You threw up on me shoes.”

“Alright, but I promise that if I throw up on yer shoes again, I’ll buy you new ones. Okay?”

Alex shook his head, but he was smiling. “Not sure it’s worth the price of being puked on.”

Miles ignored him, already dragging them both in the direction of the whirling ride. Its lights were flashing in a hectic display of clashing colours and its speakers were pumping out dance tracks with the bass turned up so high that Miles could feel it rumbling in his throat.

They paid their fare at the booth and found a place in the queue just as the klaxon rang out and the ride began to slow. The ride attendant motioned them forward and escorted them into one of the empty cars. Alex took the outer seat and Miles squashed in next to him. The ride attendant pushed down the safety bar and Alex wrapped his hands around it, giving Miles a dubious look as he did so. “These are me favourite shoes an’ all,” he said.

Miles glanced down at Alex’s scuffed trainers. “If I ruin ‘em, I’ll get you two new pairs for Christmas, how’s that?”

Alex didn’t respond. He gazed out across the fairground at the crowds as they roved back and forth. Half the city seemed to have come down to the fair tonight; there were families pushing prams, couples arm in arm, crazy kids running about all hopped up on sugar. It was chaos. The waltzer car felt like a small oasis of calm by comparison as it rocked gently from side to side in the midst of it all.

“You never said what you were doing for Christmas,” Alex said.

Miles shrugged. “Oh, you know. The usual probably. See the folks an’ all that.”

“You don’t fancy stayin’ in London, then?”

“Why would I?”

“I dunno. I was thinkin’ of staying down this year. Maybe doin’ summat at mine instead, for a change.”

“Oh yeah?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah. Maybe.” He flexed his fingers on the bar. “You know you’d be welcome to stay, if you wanted to.”

Miles turned to face him, but Alex didn’t look up. He hesitated. “Are you asking me to spend Christmas with you?”

Alex shook his head once, short and sharp. “Nah, I was just sayin’… if ya wanted to, is all…” His voice trailed off.

Miles watched him. Alex’s face had reddened again and he was gripping the safety bar tighter than necessary given that the ride wasn’t even moving. Miles paused for a second, then took a breath. “Alex–”

The rest of his words were drowned out by the wail of the klaxon. The car gave a sudden jolt and the ride lurched into life.

“Hold on tight folks, here we go!” came the voice over the loudspeaker. The music swelled and the rumble of the bass lent a harmony to the grumble of the gears as the ride sped up and the cars began to spin in circles above the undulating platform.

Miles could feel the centrifugal force building inside their car and he took a tighter hold of the safety bar to prevent himself from being pushed into Alex’s side. The muscles in his forearms grew taut, but he could just about manage to keep his place on the seat.

He looked up. The ride attendant was watching them, and his lips were curved in a wicked grin.

Alex had just spotted the guy too. His eyes went wide. “Oh, no. No, no, no–”

His protests were swallowed by the bassline and in any case it was too late as the ride attendant was already moving to take hold of their car. As they mounted the crest of the next ramp, the car began to spin, slow at first but then faster and faster as the ride attendant pushed it. In a blink they were whirling out of control. Miles slid helplessly across the seat and nearly landed in Alex’s lap. They ended up pressed together against the wall of the car as it spun in circles at dizzying speed.

“Oh god,” Alex moaned. “I’m going to be sick.”

“Not on yer shoes!”

Alex made a noise halfway between a choke and a laugh. “S’not fuckin’ funny.”

Miles snorted. “Yeah, no, you’re right. It’s fuckin’ _hilarious_.”

Alex glared. “Stop enjoyin’ my suffering, ya prick.”

Miles opened his mouth to reply, but the car lurched over a bump and then that sadist of a ride attendant was spinning them again and Miles found himself pressed up against Alex so hard that he could feel the sharp dig of Alex’s hipbone through his jeans.

Alex stared at him, his face flushed.

Miles shouted to be heard above the thump of the music. “I’m not hurtin’ yeh am I?”

Alex shook his head. “No, s’fine, doesn’t hurt.”

Miles could barely hear him, but he could read the shapes of the words on Alex’s lips. He gave Alex a sheepish grin. Alex returned it with a half-smile. The centrifugal force kept them pinned to the wall of the car, and the moment stretched out as the car span in endless circles. Miles found himself growing conscious of the way that Alex’s body was fitted against his own from shoulder to knee. The familiarity of it jarred his senses. It was pushing his thoughts in another direction. Before he could stop himself he had drawn an inevitable parallel with a different time and place, long ago in the past. They’d been in motion just like this, feeling the rattle of the wheels on the road beneath them as their tour bus sped down the empty highway. The warmth of their shared proximity had been just like this too. He could still remember the way that Alex’s heart had beat so hard beneath his palm. He could remember the way that their breaths had mingled in the dark.

Alex looked more flushed than ever and Miles could feel his own face growing warm. Something had shifted in the air between them. There was a directness in Alex’s stare which seemed to carry with it some unspoken suggestion. The car continued to tilt and whirl in its drunken dance, but neither of them looked away. The thought rose unbidden from the lower regions of Miles’s subconscious. _Does he want me to kiss him?_ There was something magnetic in Alex’s unbroken gaze which seemed to be drawing him in. Was it his imagination?

Alex spoke but the words were buried by the noise. Miles could see his lips making silent shapes… and then all Miles could think about was the shape of his lips.

The two of them were impossibly close, and yet the space between them felt magnified. It was a mere hand’s width of distance, but it felt like an open ocean. Miles knew he ought to pull back. He ought to retreat to the safety of the shore. But Alex’s eyes were the undertow pulling him off his feet, and before he knew it he could no longer feel the ground… and then Alex’s lips were beneath his own.

The kiss was brief, but the force of the memories that it unleashed was like a tsunami battering down every defence. Every carefully constructed wall was dissolving in the flood, brick by brick. Everything that Miles had built to keep himself afloat lay smashed on the surface of the rising waters. The waters encircled his heart like a cold fist, and squeezed.

The klaxon rang out like a fog horn. Miles’s eyes flew open and he scrambled backwards, a hand held to his mouth as though the kiss had burned him.

Alex stared.

Miles looked away. “I– I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I–”

“Miles.”

Miles couldn’t bring himself to look up. The ride shuddered to a stop and the spin of the car diminished to a gentle roll. There was a long, empty pause.

“Miles,” Alex said. “Can we go home?”

Miles kept his eyes lowered and nodded without speaking. He pushed up the safety bar and climbed out of the car. He followed Alex back across the uneven platform and down the steps of the ride. They walked back to the park gates in silence. The music and the noise of the crowd grew quieter as they left the fairground behind.

* * *

The silence continued during the taxi ride. By the time they reached Alex’s front door it had become an almost physical presence, and Miles couldn’t find the words to break it. Alex fumbled with the keys and it seemed to take an age for him to get the door open, but once they were inside they too soon found themselves standing in the dim living room, looking at one another, and Miles could still think of nothing to say.

Alex was curling and uncurling his fingers, still in his leather jacket and scarf. Miles could see the lines of tension in his face and he knew that Alex was struggling for words too. They’d be here all night if Miles left it up to him to break the deadlock between them.

He cleared his throat, and nodded towards the Christmas tree. “So,” he said. “I take it you didn’t manage to get me a present yet?”

Alex didn’t reply. He unwound his scarf and laid it over the arm of the sofa. He unzipped his jacket, folded it carefully and laid it on top of the scarf. “I got you summat,” he said. “But you might not like it.”

“I always like what yeh get me, Al.”

“This is different to what I normally get ya.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Miles frowned. The lines of tension were still present in Alex’s face and he seemed to be hesitating, shuffling his feet as though he wasn’t quite sure whether he wanted to walk or stay still. In the end he walked. He crossed the room in five slow steps to the spot where Miles was standing, and then he took a final half step to bring the two of them within touching distance. He placed both hands tentatively on Miles’s shoulders.

Miles blinked. “Al, what–?”

His words died in his throat as Alex leaned in and pressed their lips together. The kiss was soft and cautious, but with the merest flicker of Alex’s tongue against his mouth Miles could feel his heart beat faster, and with it those deep waters were rising.

He pulled away.

Alex looked at him and Miles looked back, saying nothing. Once more that silence had come between them. It had swallowed up his voice. The colours from the Christmas lights danced over Alex’s skin, blue and green and pink.

Alex sighed. His hands drifted up from Miles’s shoulders and he began to rub gentle spirals into the shorn sides of Miles’s hair.

Miles let him do it. His eyes didn’t stray from Alex’s face.

“I always used to know what you were thinking,” Alex said in a quiet voice.

Miles watched him. “I’m thinkin’ that we’ve been here before.”

Alex broke eye contact. He ran his tongue over his lower lip. “I know.”

The silence stretched out again, heavier than the air.

Miles swallowed. “It’s just…” He reached out and tucked a loose strand of Alex’s dark hair back behind his ear. “It’s just… I can’t go through all that again, Al. What happened before, it’s… I just can’t.”

“It won’t be like that.”

“How can you know?”

Alex looked up at him through dark lashes, and the world seemed to slow its spin. “Remember when we used to trust each other?” he said.

Miles nodded without breaking their gaze.

Alex moved closer. He entwined his arms behind Miles's neck. “I don’t want to make you promises that I can’t keep,” he said. “I don’t know what’ll happen in the future. I can’t… I can’t give you that certainty. All I can give you is the truth about how I feel right now.”

“And how is that?”

Alex swallowed. “Like my heart’s breaking, because you’re not here with me. Because I can’t kiss you anymore. Because you’re not there when I wake up.”

Miles sighed. “Alex…”

“I know, I’ve hurt you. I know. I regret it every day. You’ve no idea how much. Just… I know I’ve no right to ask, but please… let me try again? I can… I can do better…”

Alex’s voice had grown thick. Miles could feel his own throat growing tight in response. He brushed his fingers across Alex’s cheek. “Don’t cry,” he whispered. “You know I hate it when you cry.”

“I know.”

Another silence descended.

“You do look good, you know,” Alex murmured. “This haircut suits ya.”

“I had the impression you didn't like it.”

“Nah. S’just... s’just hard to look at ya sometimes. I start feelin’ like... like I can’t help meself.”

His fingers tangled around the longer strands of Miles’s hair as he spoke, and he gave it the gentlest of tugs.

Miles was aware once more of the space between them. It still felt like an ocean that no boat could cross. No boat, except a kiss.

He turned back to the feeling of his own breathing; the slow expansion and contraction, the rise and fall of his chest.

“Al, how long’ve yeh been feelin’ this way?”

Alex gave a tiny shrug. “It’s crept up on me by inches. I keep remembering stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

Alex dropped his eyes. “That first time,” he said. “On the bus.”

Miles felt the heat of a blush spread from his cheeks to his neck. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Miles hesitated, watching the colour rise in Alex’s face. Alex’s fingers were still toying with his hair. It was sending shivers tingling across his scalp. “I… erm… I think about that too, sometimes.”

Alex looked up. “You do?”

“Yeah. Probably more than I should.”

Alex’s gaze didn’t waver. “I’d go back, if I could,” he said. “I’d undo everything I’ve done in the last three years, if I could be back there with you.”

Miles gave him the tiniest smile. “What would you do different the second time?”

Alex leaned in close. Miles shivered as he felt the brush of Alex’s lips against the corner of his mouth. “I’d never stop kissing you,” Alex whispered.

Miles’s eyes fluttered closed. That undertow was tugging on him again. He was treading water, but he could feel himself sinking. Alex’s breath was warm on his cheek.

“Miles.”

Miles opened his eyes and looked at him. The ocean between them had parted and they were standing on a narrow strip of sand, the waters held back by the power of their shared will alone. Miles shook his head. “Al,” he said. “I can’t… I can’t lose you again.”

Alex tightened his arms behind Miles’s neck. “I’m here,” he said. He pressed a feather light kiss to Miles’s lower lip.

Miles swallowed hard. “Fuckin’ hell…”

Alex kissed him again, and this kiss was firmer, and with it came the tiny flicker of his tongue. “Miles,” he said. “Put your hands on me.”

Miles’s hands were moving before his brain could catch up. He trailed his fingers up Alex’s back, his arms encircling him and pulling him closer. Alex kept still, watching him, waiting. Miles leaned towards him and saw Alex’s eyes slip closed as he pressed their mouths together.

The kiss began gentle and chaste, and for a moment it felt almost like an anti-climax. But then Alex parted his lips with a sigh, and the sound brought with it that crashing tidal wave of memories, and in an instant Miles was swept off his feet. He couldn't withstand it. He pushed his tongue into Alex's mouth and Alex let out a muffled groan. The hand in Miles's hair became a fist and Alex began pushing him back towards the sofa. Miles went helplessly, caught by the current. His hands rose to cup Alex's face and he kissed him until his lungs burned.

"Fuck," Alex breathed. "I've missed you."

The words hit their target in the pit of Miles's stomach; he yanked Alex against him as he sank down amongst the cushions, groping for the heat of Alex's skin beneath his shirt. Alex's hands flew to Miles's jeans and began tugging, unbuttoning. Clothes and shoes hit the floor with a thud.

Alex pressed him down on to his back, his hands stroking a path from Miles’s chest to his hips. Miles gasped into his mouth as Alex pushed a hand against the base of his cock. “Al–”

“Sssh,” Alex whispered. “Let me.”

He traced his fingers over the shape of Miles's erection through the thin cotton of his underwear, and Miles gasped again as Alex dipped his head, pressed his mouth to the fabric and breathed out in a pulse of hot air. The heat spread throughout Miles’s whole body. Alex’s hands moved to Miles’s waist and he began to inch the boxers down, pressing his tongue to Miles’s hipbones as he did so. The boxers went on the floor and Miles’s breathing quickened as Alex began to pepper hot kisses up the inside of his thigh, taking his time and drawing out the tension until Miles was almost shaking with arousal.

“Al, fuck, please just–”

Alex wrapped his mouth around Miles’s cock and swept his tongue in a slow, smooth circle.

“Oh _god_ –”

Miles thrust his fingers into Alex’s hair to hold him in place and Alex responded with a soft whine; he increased the pressure of his tongue and began licking his way up and down Miles’s shaft in heavy stripes. Miles’s hips bucked of their own accord and he swore as Alex took him in his mouth again. It was everything he remembered. It was like they’d never stopped. Alex knew every inch of him and what he craved, as though that symbiosis between them had never been broken.

Miles bucked again and cried out as Alex hollowed his cheeks and took him further down his throat. _Christ_ , he’d been a fool to think he was free of this. Alex’s tongue was an addiction that he’d never been able to shake. It left him wanting more after every hit, and time had done nothing to dull the ache. It had never been like this, not with anyone else. Not with anyone but Alex.

The thought swirled round him like a cold eddy. He’d let himself drift out far beyond his depth. How would he ever find his way back to shore now?

“Al–” He groped downwards, seeking contact, and found Alex’s hand wrapped around his hipbone. He laced their fingers together in a crushing grip.

Alex pulled back and moved his tongue in a slow spiral from the base of Miles’s cock to the head. Miles moaned so loud, he felt the vibrations in his throat.

“Al,” he panted. “I’m not gonna– oh _Christ_ – I'm not gonna last if yeh keep– _fuck_ –”

“S’ok,” Alex murmured. “Stay still. I just wanna make ya feel good.” He pressed down again with his tongue and Miles arched into his mouth with a cry, his fingers tightening around Alex’s own. His gaze flitted to the ceiling, where the lights from the Christmas tree were blurring their colours over the stippled surface. He could barely keep his eyes open. His body was lost in the intensity of the pleasure Alex was inflicting on him. He could feel himself edging towards his point of no return, dragged there by undercurrents beyond his control. It was only Alex’s hand, anchoring him, that stopped him from being swept away.

“Alex. Alex, please–” His voice came out almost choked.

“Ssssh, I’ve got you.”

Alex squeezed their interlaced fingers and swallowed him again, and the waves rose even higher. They broke and crashed through Miles’s body, one after another.

“Fuck, _fuck_. Oh _Christ_ , don’t stop–”

He bucked his hips into Alex’s mouth, his muscles shaking with the strain; he clenched a fist in Alex’s hair and his stream of profanities dissolved into an animalistic growl. Alex moaned around his cock, and that sound was all it took. His vision went black and the force of his orgasm ripped through him in a surge, spreading outwards from the base of his cock like ripples on a pond. It became a volley of desperate pulses and he could feel Alex coaxing him through it, humming and swallowing around him until he was near to sobbing with the sensitivity of it all.

He gave a weak tug on Alex’s hair to signal him to stop. He’d no breath left for anything else. After a moment, Alex did. He kept hold of Miles’s hand as he crawled up beside him, and then the two of them lay still.

Miles floated slowly back to earth, listening to the hush of Alex’s breath against his ear. This time the silence between them was a warm one, not needing to be broken. Some minutes passed and then Alex sighed. He let go of Miles’s fingers and hooked his arm around Miles’s waist.

Miles pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Should I say thanks for my Christmas present?”

Alex snorted and pushed his face into Miles’s neck. “No, don’t say that. S’not even Christmas yet.”

“I’ll be expectin’ something extra on the day, then.”

Alex blinked up at him. “Does that mean you’re stayin’?”

“Only if yeh want me to.”

Alex leaned in and kissed him, sweeping his tongue in a wide arc over Miles’s lips. His mouth tasted bitter. “Stay,” he whispered.

Miles nodded, wordless. Alex settled back down and his fingers began to trace idle circles across Miles’s bare skin. His hair was dishevelled again and his face had lost some of its tension. In the dim light, curled at Miles’s side in just a ratty t-shirt and boxers, he looked like a younger version of himself.

“Al?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s going to happen after Christmas?”

Alex’s fingers stilled. “I don’t know,” he said. “It’s a new year. S’a new decade an’ all. Anything could happen.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Alex’s arm tightened around Miles’s waist. His fingers resumed their circles and spirals. “The future’s whatever we want to make it,” he said. “But we can only make it one day at a time.” His fingers paused again and he looked up into Miles’s face. “Is that going to be enough?”

Miles gazed back at him. The look they shared was heavy with the weight of the years. He reached out and stroked his thumb across Alex’s cheekbone. “I suppose it’ll have to be.”

Alex leaned in and kissed him again, the briefest press of warm lips. He ducked his head beneath Miles’s chin, nestled there, and breathed out in a soft sigh. He took Miles’s hand and brought it to his mouth, kissed that too, and entwined their fingers in a loose embrace.

Miles lay still. He let the minutes pass, and after some time, he heard Alex’s breathing grow deeper. When he turned his head to look, Alex’s eyes were closed.

He stifled a yawn. The lateness of the hour was weighing on his limbs, yet his eyes remained open. He cast his gaze up to the ceiling. The lights were still cycling in their endless pattern. The colours danced on his stomach, over Alex’s face, over their tangled hands. He watched their fingertips flicker in the light, fading from blue, to green, to pink.

He wrapped his free arm around Alex’s shoulders and laced their fingers a little tighter.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.


End file.
